5.26 | steer

(of a person) guide or control the movement of (a vehicle, vessel, or aircraft),
for example by turning a wheel or operating a rudder.

what does steer mean to you?

what`s next for me? in what direction is my life going? what am i doing? i ask these questions very often and i have to constantly remind myself that i know the answer. how, you ask? because i`m in control. i can do whatever it is that i want/need to do. i`m steering this vessel of ideas, dreams, desires. giving myself that power allows me to feel confident in the moves i make in building the future that i see myself having.

there were alot of changes that i needed to make in order to achieve the life that i wanted. i was committed to staying the course of my savings plan and dedicating my time to prioritizing my needs, my true needs. although this pandemic has halted alot of the plans that i had this year, i have to be thankful for what i was able to accomplish with my time.

1. i have a strict savings plan with a goal that i intend to accomplish by the end of the year. i am halfway at that goal and it is an amazing feeling to have done this. i honestly can`t even believe that i`ve been able to do this for the second time, but disciplining myself and keeping my budget journal has really helped. i make sure i keep up with my monthly budgets and getting those balances down/accounts up.

2. i have finally been able to print artwork from my home rather than pay a third-party. this has motivated me to do more custom work. i really didn`t like having to pay the costs of third-party handling because i had no visibility to how the artwork turned out. i had no control over what could be printed by the company, either. i tried to have a print for my cousin done and because her name was the same name as a fashion brand, they said that i was infringing upon their rights... like, what? that`s her name! lol. i was so annoyed. that`s why having this printer allows me the freedom to do as i please with my art. i`m excited about creating an at-home space where i can handle all of my art business from my bed, haha.

3. i`ve been thinking of other ways to create my budget journals as well. it`s a difficult process because there is so much information out there to sort through, but i know that i will find the solution that works best for me. i just have to stick to it because what i want to share is extremely important to financial stability. i started to draw the ideas out in my sketch book before i tried designing them in indesign but learning the functions of indesign is sooo tough. i've only ever used photoshop, so it's a lot for me to take in since the applications are so different. however, i am not giving up because this is important to me! so if anyone has any resources or suggestions they`d like to share, please feel free to holla at ya girl.

4. lastly, learning to sew again! i begged my dad for a sewing machine over four years ago and i have only used it twice. i half-ass made a rib knit sleeveless dress, which was a hot mess. i had lessons from my cousin and made a muscle shirt. that was the last time i ever used it, sadly. i`m just going to take lessons on youtube and see how it goes!

in addition to those things, i have to also admit that what`s been going on in the world has been troubling me. after having my own encounter with a racist woman at a target that i frequent very often, it just made me sad to realize that this will be happening for the rest of my black ass life. that`s why this shirt that i`m wearing is so important.

stop calling 911 on the culture.

it`s sad that our skin color alone is grounds for people calling the police on us. seeing non-black people weaponize their privilege of not being black is sickening to me. and it hurts. these are the very people that have black co-workers, black customers, black friends.... and then when it comes to having their non-blackness tested, they fear us and call the police. and what do the police do? the same damn thing.

i can go on and on about this, but i`ll stop here for my own sanity. enjoy the pictures that my best friend took of me for fun. check him out on instagram: @lowfiveghost!

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- the broke girl